Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
