I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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