all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm bleeding and have questions
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize