The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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