addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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