Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
