it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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