I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
