Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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