She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
