It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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