This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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