you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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