you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
