Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
farters have to be the big spoon...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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