Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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