I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
