You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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