at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I could make wine with my vomit
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
