pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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