I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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