You smell like a Billy Joel song
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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