absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
