how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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