Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize