dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
