i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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