eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
