love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
