Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
