Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
