Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
