dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
