Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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