I want to walk on stilts...naked
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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