Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
