I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
