sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
