I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize