How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
