Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
