i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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