i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
