One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
