I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize