and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
