I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
