he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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