Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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