how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
