I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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