My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize