I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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