well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
