I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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