Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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