Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
