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Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
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