Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne

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  (734): smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne http://tfl.nu/p5m6
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (971) Bad night (8005)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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  (501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk
  Replies (5) Good night (4456) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

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  (412): She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out... (412): She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7. http://tfl.nu/j9aq
  Replies (11) Good night (4250) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.

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  (315): you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast. http://tfl.nu/j66a
  Replies (8) Good night (3087) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.

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  (814): You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride. http://tfl.nu/0b9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3955) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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  (340): $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end. http://tfl.nu/eqa9
  Replies (4) Good night (3632) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.

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  (732): He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year. http://tfl.nu/lez5
  Replies (27) Good night (3115) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.

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  (949): Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive. http://tfl.nu/to91
  Replies (15) Good night (2137) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1778) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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  (401): I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself http://tfl.nu/9jsd
  Replies (12) Good night (1483) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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  (774): Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is? http://tfl.nu/utv4
  Replies (7) Good night (1328) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Like it was yesterday.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...

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  (254): Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears? (517): Like it was yesterday. (254): Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery... http://tfl.nu/058m
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.

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  (770): Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning. http://tfl.nu/57kn
  Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"

  (425): View more from Washington

  She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."

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  (425): You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs" (425): She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs." http://tfl.nu/hxs2
  Replies (0) Good night (739) Bad night (161)

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