I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in