I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.