in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.