Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
wow bdsm is so cute