Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I hate you

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  (425): Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs? (1-425): I hate you http://tfl.nu/19l9
  Replies (14) Good night (4086) Bad night (594)
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  (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

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  (650): ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person http://tfl.nu/h7ls
  Replies (13) Good night (1148) Bad night (2510)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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  (804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (3691)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.

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  (314): I hated hipsters before it was mainstream. http://tfl.nu/p566
  Replies (32) Good night (6396) Bad night (1342)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (1174) Bad night (6906)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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  (308): Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/konb
  Replies (8) Good night (3574) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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  (507): Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07" http://tfl.nu/j0aw
  Replies (12) Good night (2717) Bad night (1213)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?

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  (517): Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much? http://tfl.nu/63ru
  Replies (10) Good night (3313) Bad night (931)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

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  (417): Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel http://tfl.nu/ki9k
  Replies (11) Good night (2434) Bad night (1153)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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  (276): I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences. http://tfl.nu/f9jw
  Replies (8) Good night (3368) Bad night (858)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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  (518): Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat. http://tfl.nu/lwgj
  Replies (9) Good night (701) Bad night (3549)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

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  (813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (738)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (644)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..

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  (503): I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows.. http://tfl.nu/u6a7
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (568)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?

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  (907): I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/djji
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (404)

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