U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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