I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
my poor anus
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
