Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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