I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize